Tuesday, May 3, 2011


I is for the imagination I no longer have
N is for the noose I want to put around my neck to pass out for a while
S is for the sleep that never seems to want me any more
O is for the open eye lids that don't want to close
M is for the medications that need to knock me out
N is for the neck cramp that I get trying to get comfortable
I is for the insane Monkey Shine movie I am watching right now
A is for the the assumption that sleep will come soon

Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Eyes of Darkness

Even as I sleep the eyes that are deep in my mind stay open wondering through places unknown and untraveled. The mind that is supposed to shut off and let me be at rest never shuts down fully.

The eyes see every thought that runs rampant and wild.
The eyes catch every fear that escapes from its locked away place.
The eyes that no one is supposed to know about.
The eyes that keep my thoughts all tangled and intertwined/

When one sleeps the mind shuts down and lets fantasies or dreams become a reality of what could be, what you want it to be, or things so foreign and so not understood that when you wake you never remember them. Because dreams are a way to fade into a place of the unknown.

The eyes the that are always on alert.
The eyes that consume the every waken moment of the not so peaceful.
The eyes the catch the hidden messages that convey every emotion.
The eyes that won't allow me to see past the truth.

The eyes of darkness keep me awake, thump..thump...thump. Those very eyes hold the key to every weakness that I have. They unlock the hided passages ways to thoughts that need to be locked away for my sanity.

The eyes that never sleep but should.
The eyes that never blink but need too.
The eyes that never cry but want too.
The eyes that never feel but have too.

The darkness that consumes me at night isn't dreams of fantasies, but the darkness that sees all, knows all, finds all, and wants to make me remember. I don't want to remember, I want to forget. I want to close my eyes and sleep.

Those eyes that plague me are...
Those eyes that understand me are...
Those eyes that hear my cries are...
Those eyes that remind me are...

Those very eyes are darkness are not fears for other but myself. They have a name that I want to forget. They have a meaning that I want to run from. Those eyes of darkness are what I now know as my only form of addiction.

I am addicted to the eyes of darkness.
I am addicted to my anxiety.

The Eyes of Darkness